Of Daft Gits and Snogging
by Olivia Brooks
Summary: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy is an utterly daft git. AS/S


DISCLAIMER: Everything that you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling(Obviously, else I wouldn't be on _fan_fiction, right?) all else most likely belongs to me(or maybe you just don't recognize it).

Warnings: Lets see, boy snogging(so, yeah, slash), some swearing, very vague references to explicit acts(and by vague I mean super vague).

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Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy was a completely daft git.

His best friend was standing in the middle of the room, being congratulated and cheered on by the entire Slytherin house, and a great deal of girls from Ravenclaw--Scorpius assumed they'd come with Rose--and here was Scorpius, standing by himself, with naught but an unopened firewhiskey for company. And all because Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy was a daft git.

The sounds of the cheering room were somehow dulled as Scorpius slumped down the wall. As he sat, staring at the fervently celebrating crowd, he wrapped his arms around his knees. Al was surrounded by hoards of coy, giggling girls. There probably wasn't a single brain cell in the lot. Okay, since most of them were from Ravenclaw, they probably were geniuses, but still, utter bints, every one.

As Al reenacted his miraculous steal of the snitch, right from under the Gryffindor seeker's nose, Scorpius buried his head in his hands. He ought to be up there, congratulating his friend on an amazing win. Instead, he was sitting in a frigid corner, watching his friend like some kind of…stalker!

A groan escaped Scorpius's lips. That was really what he was, wasn't it? Sure, he was Al's best friend, but Al would be sickened if he knew how often Scorpius stared at him. Would probably be disgusted if he ever found out that Scorpius thought that the way Al looked when he had just woken up--the way his hair was actually less ruffled then, then during the middle of the day--was sexy.

Another groan; he had just thought of his best friend as sexy. Something was definitely wrong with him.

_And you know just what it is, don't you? You're a poof, a fairy! _Scorpius thought, lifting his head out of his hands slightly and looking up at Al again. He was staring down at Scorpius, his expression a mixture of confusion and concern, _What would Al think if he knew?_

_You know what he'd think. _A tiny voice reminded him, _He's your best mate. He wouldn't care._

_Maybe not at first, _another voice said_, But soon he'd notice all your staring. He'd start feeling uncomfortable around you. Wouldn't be able to change as long as you were around. Then he'd stop hanging out with you. It would ruin everything._

Scorpius knew, he just _knew _that the voice was right. Al was the best mate anyone could ask for, but Scorpius couldn't expect him to be all right with his crush. He'd think Scorpius was a freak.

Just as Scorpius was about to tear his hair out of his head because of the very awful fate that had left him a boy who fancied his best mate in a creepy and utterly perverted way, he felt the pressure of another body press up to his.

"I know your secret!" whispered Al. Scorpius turned to him with wide eyes. _Oh god, oh god, he knows, oh god, how? Oh dear Lord, please, please let me die right here. Please!_

"And what would that be?" asked Scorpius, surprised by how utterly nonchalant his voice sounded, when his hands were shaking so viciously that he had the faint thought that they probably could register on the Richter scale. All thoughts were struck from his mind, however, when Al grinned at him; a grin full of teeth and almost scary in its mischief. Screwing his eyes shut, Scorpius grabbed the firewhiskey sitting next to him and took a long gulp.

_If my life is going to be ruined, I might as well be wasted._

"You fancy Rose," he said, his eyes lighting up. Scorpius nearly choked--and would have, too if he hadn't swallowed just in time.

"Rose, your cousin, Rose?" spluttered Scorpius, his raised voice causing dirty looks from a pair of girls a few chairs away from them. _What, like you weren't screaming and cheering just a minute ago._

"No, I think you fancy a sodding flower. Of course my cousin Rose!"

"I do not fancy Rose!" Scorpius all but yelled. He really, really shouldn't have been so insistent, which he learned, when the annoyed look on Al's face was replaced with a smirk. _A very handsome…no, I have far too much dignity to finish that sentence._

"Sure you don't," said Al, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully, "I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to say something along the lines of 'If you hurt her, I'll break your bones', but I think I'm actually more afraid she'd hurt you."

"Seriously, Al, I don't fancy your cousin," said Scorpius.

Al snorted. "Sure you don't. Just like--" he stopped when he saw Scorpius's face, "You really don't fancy her, do you?"

"Not really, no. I mean, she's great and everything, but I guess…I guess she's just not my type," admitted Scorpius. He could almost feel his cheeks redden, so he took a swig of firewhiskey, hoping no one would notice.

"Then who do you fancy? It's not Susan Goyle is it? Merlin, so help me if its Susan Goyle--"

"I don't fancy Susan Goyle, Al. I'd be too afraid that her father would beat me up. Or her mother, for that matter," Scorpius said, shuddering slightly. Millicent Goyle was a hulking woman, with hands that could easily wrap around Scorpius's head and squeeze until it popped. Like champagne…warm, fizzy champagne. _Uh-oh, I think the firewhiskey is setting in, it would probably be best not to--_Scorpius silenced the annoying voice in his head by drinking more firewhiskey.

Al laughed; a nice, deep sound. Scorpius turned his head so he was facing Al, "You have a nice laugh…it's all bubbly. Like champagne."

"Merlin, Scorpius, you haven't even finished an entire firewhiskey, and you're already drunk!" Al said with another laugh, "Come on, let's get you to bed."

"Not drunk. Don't want to go to bed."

"Trust me, Scorpius, I've seen a few drunk people in my time, and you are definitely drunk," said Al, lifting Scorpius up slightly. After a bit of hesitation, Scorpius relented. However, as Albus was about to drag him up the stairs to their dorm, Scorpius pulled away, "Where are you going now?"

"Want to take a bath."

"Merlin, Scorpius, you aren't going up to the prefect's bathroom, are you?" asked Al. Scorpius ignored him, as he was concentrating deeply on keeping his steps straight. Concentrating didn't seem to work well for his balance, though, and he ran into a table and three chairs before stumbling out into the corridor.

While bumbling down the corridor, Scorpius could already feel the effects of the firewhiskey wearing off. Taking a bath in the prefect's bathroom after curfew probably wasn't his smartest plan. He sighed, and shook his head, stopping.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid! _Scorpius thought, as he turned around. "Oh!"

As he turned, he had nearly run into Al, "Easy there, Scorpius."

"Didn't know you were following me," mumbled Scorpius, mentally adding the _I_. Firewhiskey was definitely not his friend.

"Well, someone had to make sure you didn't murder yourself," said Al. He ran a hand through his gorgeous--stupid firewhiskey--black hair.

"S'not possible to murder yourself," mumbled Scorpius, taking a shaky step towards Al.

"Look, can we just go back to the common room? My mum would murder me if I got another detention," said Al.

As Al spoke, Scorpius stared curiously at Al's lips. They were a nice, reddish color. Plump, but not so far as to be feminine. Scorpius thought that he'd very much like to kiss them.

"Er, Scorpius? Are you even listening to me?" asked Al, running a hand through his hair. Hmmm, he also had nice hair, "Look, if you're not even going to--mmph!"

The kiss was short--a few seconds at most--but when Scorpius pulled away, he had a lot more questions than he had answers.

"Shit…bloody hell, shit," muttered Scorpius. He'd just kissed his best mate. As the last few effects of the small bit of firewhiskey he'd had wore off, that realization hit him hard. He'd just kissed Al. _Shit!_

"I'm sorry," Scorpius said immediately, trying not to notice the slightly swollen look of Al's lips.

"For swearing? It's all right, I'm used to it with James," said Al, shrugging lightly.

"No, not for swearing. For snogging--"

"To be fair, that wasn't a snog. It was more of an extremely chaste kiss."

"Fine, I'm sorry for kissing you. I'm such a pervert," Scorpius moaned, burying his head in his hands. Al was going to recover from the shock of being snog--kissed, by his best friend in about three seconds, which was when the disgust would start, and then the hatred. Might as well prepare himself.

Al snorted, "Pervert? It's not like you jumped me in a dark alleyway, and had your way with me" He let out a thoughtful sigh, "Though, I'm not sure I would have minded so much if you had."

Scorpius blinked into his hand for several moments before raising his head, "Excuse me?"

"Gosh, I guess that makes me the lecherous pervert in this situation, doesn't it?" said Al, looking at Scorpius with a small smile. His smile turned into a leer, "I think I like that, actually."

"Al, have you gone crazy?" asked Scorpius. He placed a hand on the taller boy's forehead, and then checked his pulse. He seemed fine.

"Are you quite finished?" Al asked, looking at Scorpius. He wasn't smiling anymore, so Scorpius braced himself for the onslaught that would soon occur, "I haven't gone crazy, Scorpius."

"Then, why--?"

"I like you."

"Well, yes, we've been best mates for four years now. I'd managed to figure that out all on my own," said Scorpius. Al stared at him then, his look dark and filled with something Scorpius didn't quite understand. Scorpius bit his lip.

Suddenly, Al was pressed up against him, and Scorpius's back was against the wall. "No, you daft git. I fancy you," hissed Al, his breath warm against Scorpius's cheek. A slight shiver went down his spine, and then the meaning of Al's words hit him.

Al fancied him. Albus Severus Potter fancied him. Albus Severus Potter fancied Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy!

"But…but I'm gay," Scorpius managed.

"Well, if you hadn't noticed--you know, as I seem to be intent on squashing you into the stones of Hogwarts--I am, too."

"Are you serious?"

Without even looking into Al's eyes, Scorpius could feel them roll, "No, I'm joking. You know how much I love messing with your mind."

"Are you--"

Scorpius's next words were cut off by Al's lips being pressed into his own. At first he thought to protest, but then the little voice in his head reminded him that this was the boy that he'd liked ever since Al had introduced himself as "Al. Not Albus, or Albus Severus, or Albus Potter--and especially not the-son-of-the-boy-who-lived--just Al, got it?", and had talked to him even though he was Draco Malfoy's son, and even though--

_Why are you thinking? You're supposed to be kissing, _the nagging voice in Scorpius's head reminded him, and for once Scorpius was glad to just do what it said, and oh! The kissing was good, really good!

Al bucked against him then, and Scorpius corrected himself. It was snogging, not kissing. And then all coherent thought was out the window, because Al was kissing him just right, and oh, right there! And…

"Why'd you stop?"

"You're thinking, Scorpius. Stop it, and just snog," said Al, his voice ragged. When Scorpius gave a quick nod, Al latched himself to Scorpius once more.

Now all Scorpius focused on was the excruciating amount of pleasure--and a tiny bit of pain--he got when Al bit down lightly on Scorpius's lip. When Al used his tongue to trace the outline of Scorpius's mouth--gently at first, but getting progressively harder--Scorpius felt weak in the knees, and he was sure he would have fallen if it hadn't been for Al's hand gripping Scorpius's pale locks.

Neither of them pulled away, both gasping for air whenever their lips would part. Finally, when Scorpius was starting to see stars--unfortunately, because of the lack of oxygen, and not the kissing--he pulled away.

"Wow," Al said, his breathing labored, "Wow."

Scorpius let loose a shaky laugh; he was the reason Al was flustered. His kissing had cause Al Potter, the-boy-who-never-shut-up, to be at loss for words.

Al slowly sat down next to Scorpius--who had fallen once Al had released his grip on him--and put and arm around him.

"Not bad for a first timer," said Al, grinning at Scorpius.

"Not bad? Is that all?"

"Did I say not bad? I meant bloody brilliant!" murmured Al, tugging lightly on of Scorpius's flaxen curls.

For a while they sat there in comfortable silence, their breathing echoing loudly around them. Then, Scorpius turned to Al. "How long have you--you know--fancied me?"

Al was silent for a moment longer. "Well, do you remember that time back in second year when you were sick for a week, and Madam Pompfrey had you stay in the infirmary? She said you'd have to be there all week, even though Slytherin was playing Hufflepuff, and it was going to be my first time as Seeker. I remember that you begged and pleaded and cajoled but she insisted that you'd never get better if she let you leave willy-nilly. I thought that-was-that, but then, when I caught the Snitch, I heard someone yelling in the stands, and when I looked down, there you were" Al smiled then, and turned to Scorpius, "And before I could even move, your eyes widened and you keeled over. I had to carry you all the way back to the infirmary."

"I seem to remember waking up, and telling you I was all right, but you wouldn't put me down until Madame Pompfrey assured you that everything was going to be fine," said Scorpius, laughing slightly.

Al smiled at him affectionately, "I'd just realized I was in love with you. I had to make sure you were going to stay alive so I could tell you."

"But you didn't tell me."

"Yes, I did! When you came back from the infirmary a few days later, I told you I loved you and you said some bollocks about me being your best friend," Al cringed, "I thought you were rejecting me."

Scorpius remembered then; he'd thought Al was just glad he was back. Scorpius could feel himself blushing, "Sorry about that."

"Nah, it's all right. At least you figured it out finally."

"Actually, I've known I was in love with you since pretty much the moment I met you," said Scorpius, feeling his blush grow. He was in love with Al, and Al was in love with him. _Oh God, I hope I'm not dreaming._

"Well, I suppose I _am _quite gorgeous," he said finally, grinning down at Scorpius.

"Oh shut up," he murmured, although in his head he was agreeing, "What I meant was, that you talked to me even though I was the son of a former death eater."

"You looked so pitiful, like a drowned rat," Al said, frowning slightly, "I felt like I'd be an awful person if I didn't talk to you."

"Well, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside," Scorpius said, though he quite agreed. Before Hogwarts Express had even left the station, some fourth year had cast some sort of spell on him, drenching him with a gooey pink liquid. Then, she'd stolen his things. It hadn't exactly been a warm welcome.

"Maybe I like rats," whispered Al, as he leaned his head against Scorpius. There was another moment of silence before Al spoke up, "You know, you're going to have to something awe-inspiring for our first date to top this."

Despite that tingling that Scorpius could feel in his stomach at the words _first date_, he knocked his head against Al's, "If I remember, correctly, I made the first move, which means you have to plan the _date._"

Scorpius said _date _with the kind of reverence one holds for a particularly shiny object.

"Actually, if you'll direct your attention to the conversation a few moments back, technically _I _made the real first move."

"Fine, you made the first one, I made the second, and now you must make the third," Scorpius said, his eyes slowly shutting. As he yawned, he felt Al relax next to him. Soon, the two were fast asleep.

An hour later, when Professor McGonagall caught them sleeping like that, nestled up together, even she didn't have the heart to yell at them for more than a few minutes before sending them back to their room, with a detention each.

As they walked quickly back to the Slytherin common room, Scorpius whispered, "You know, you got another detention. Your mum's going to kill you."

Al turned to Scorpius, smiling, "Yes, but I got to snog Scorpius Malfoy, so I think it was worth it." With that, he kissed Scorpius once more--just a smell peck--and sauntered back to the dorms, leaving Scorpius to stand there, grinning like an idiot.

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy was a completely daft git…and he'd never been happier in his life.

_fin_

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Author's Note: Edited for some formatting issues.  
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